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Negotiation is the process two or more people use to settle a difference and reach an agreement they can both accept. At work it happens every day: agreeing a deadline with your manager, settling delivery terms with a supplier, or deciding with another department who pays for a shared project. Good negotiators start with emotional intelligence, the ability to control their own emotions and recognise the emotions of others. Walk in irritated and it shows in how you speak; walk in aggressively and the other party will usually respond in the same way.
The four elements of negotiation covered in this guide are preparation, integration (creating value for both sides), strategy knowledge, and a balance between logic and emotion. You will also find the five negotiation skills, the difference between distributive and integrative negotiation, the tactics behind BATNA and ZOPA, and practical ways to improve. Negotiation relies on the same skills as our communication and business writing courses: listening carefully, asking good questions and making your case clearly.
Whatever you are negotiating, from a supplier contract to a change in shift roster, four elements decide how well it goes: preparation, integration, strategy knowledge, and a balance of logic and emotion.
Preparation is the work you do before anyone sits down. Write down what you want (your target), the least you will accept (your walk-away point) and what you will do if there is no deal (your alternative). Then think about the other side: what do they need, what pressure are they under, and what might they be willing to trade? Gather the facts too, including any policies, budgets or rules that limit what either side can agree to.
At work: before asking for an extra team member, a team leader lists the overtime her team has worked, the deadlines at risk and two cheaper options, such as a temporary contract or moving work between teams. Her manager can now say yes to something instead of simply saying no.
Integration means looking for an agreement that gives both sides something they value, rather than one side winning at the other’s expense. It works when more than one issue is on the table, because each side can give way on what matters less to them and hold firm on what matters more. The result is an agreement both parties want to keep, and a working relationship that survives the negotiation.
At work: a client wants a lower price for a service; the service provider wants to be paid sooner and to secure a longer contract. They agree a smaller reduction in exchange for faster payment and a longer term, so each side gets more of what it needs.
Most people have a default way of negotiating. Some compete hard, some accommodate to keep the peace, some avoid the conversation, some split the difference, and some collaborate to find a solution that works for everyone. None of these styles is right every time. Strategy knowledge means knowing your own default, recognising the other party’s, and choosing the approach the situation calls for. A once-off purchase may call for a firmer approach; a long-term relationship with a colleague or key supplier usually calls for collaboration.
At work: a buyer who usually accommodates suppliers notices that one supplier’s prices keep rising. For the next renewal she prepares a firmer approach, with alternative quotes in hand, while staying courteous because she still values the relationship.
People decide on facts and on feelings. Logic gives you the facts, figures and reasons that make your case. Emotion is what you notice in yourself and in the other person: frustration, worry, pride or trust. A purely logical argument can fail if the other person feels ignored, and a purely emotional one falls apart under questioning. Stay calm, acknowledge how the other side feels, and keep bringing the conversation back to the facts and to the interests both sides share.
At work: in a meeting about a delayed project, a project manager first acknowledges the client’s frustration, then sets out the causes of the delay and a revised plan. The client is far more willing to discuss the plan than if he had opened with the facts alone.
In short: prepare thoroughly, look for value both sides can share, choose your approach deliberately, and keep both your reasoning and your emotions in the room.
The four elements describe what a good negotiation needs. The five negotiation skills below are what you, as the negotiator, need in order to deliver them. All five can be learnt, and you can practise them in everyday situations as well as at work.
Active listening means giving the other person your full attention, checking that you have understood them, and remembering what they said. Ask open questions such as “What would make this work for you?”, summarise what you have heard, and listen more than you speak. This is how you find the other party’s real interests, and people are more willing to move when they feel heard. Then make your own case clearly and briefly. Body language and tone count as well: crossed arms, a raised voice or a glance at your phone can undo a good argument.
At work: a sales representative asks a client why a quote was turned down and learns that the problem is the delivery date, not the price. She saves the deal by changing the schedule instead of cutting the price.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to manage your own emotions and read other people’s. It helps you choose the right moment: if your manager is visibly under pressure in a meeting, it may not be the time for a non-urgent request. It keeps you calm when the conversation gets tense and positive when the outcome is not what you hoped for. Self-awareness is part of it too: knowing what irritates you, where you give in too early and where you dig in too hard. Our two-day Mastering Emotional Intelligence course works on these skills.
At work: an HR officer notices an employee becoming defensive in a discussion about a shift change. She pauses, asks what worries him about the change and learns that the problem is transport home. They agree on a shift that fits the transport he has.
Confidence lets you state what you need clearly and respectfully, without apologising for it or attacking the other person. Assertiveness sits between two weak positions. A passive negotiator avoids conflict and often gives too much away to keep the peace; an aggressive one pushes so hard that the other side resists or the relationship suffers. An assertive negotiator asks for what is fair, explains why, and listens to the reply. Much of this confidence comes from preparation: it is easier to stand firm when you know the facts and your alternatives.
At work: a new team leader is asked to take on an extra project. Instead of agreeing in silence and then missing deadlines, she explains what her team is already working on and asks her manager which task should move to make room.
Skilled negotiators do not abandon their position too early, and they do not hold out so long that the opportunity is lost. Patience means giving the other side time to think, being comfortable with silence after you make an offer, and not rushing into concessions just to end an uncomfortable conversation. It also means knowing when to pause and come back later rather than force an agreement that will not last.
At work: when a supplier rejects a request for better payment terms, a procurement officer does not answer with an immediate counter-offer. She asks the supplier to consider the request and they agree to meet again the following week, when the supplier comes back with a workable proposal.
Most negotiations end with each side giving something. The skill is to compromise with a plan: know in advance what you can trade, what costs you little but matters to the other party, and what you cannot give up. Problem-solving goes further. It means looking at the situation objectively, weighing the strengths and weaknesses of each option, and creating new options rather than only splitting the difference. Integrity belongs here as well: offer only what you can deliver and do what you agreed, because the other party will judge your next offer by how you kept this one.
At work: two departments both want the same slot in the training budget. Rather than splitting it in half, the managers agree that one team trains this quarter and the other next quarter, and that each team will share what it learnt.
Whether it is a formal contract negotiation or a quick conversation in the passage, most negotiations share the same characteristics:
Most negotiations fall into one of two broad types. Knowing which one you are in tells you which skills and tactics to use.
Distributive negotiation divides a fixed value between the parties: what one side gains, the other loses. Haggling over price is the typical case, with buyer and seller exchanging offers until they meet somewhere in the middle or walk away. Preparation counts most here, so know your target, your walk-away point and your alternative before the first offer is made. This approach suits once-off deals, such as buying a used vehicle. It fits ongoing work relationships poorly, because a hard-won victory can cost goodwill you will need later.
Integrative negotiation looks for an agreement in which both sides gain. It usually involves several issues and the chance to trade between them, so the value can grow before it is divided. A client who asks for a discount, for example, may accept a smaller one in exchange for a longer contract or extra support. Each side gives way on something it values less and gains something it values more. Negotiations with colleagues, long-term suppliers and regular clients should usually aim to be integrative.
Four terms come up in almost every negotiation. Work them out before you start.
After each negotiation, review it against these points. Did you reach your target? How close did you come to your walk-away point? Was your BATNA as strong as you thought?
Negotiation is not only for salespeople and buyers. Team leaders agree workloads and leave, project managers agree scope and deadlines, and HR practitioners discuss changes with employees. Good negotiation skills help you to:
Employers value people who can persuade others and build agreements that work for both sides. The aim is not to win every point but to find where both parties’ interests meet. Where differences have already turned into conflict, our Conflict Resolution and Negotiation Skills Training covers both sides of the problem. For buyers and sales staff, negotiation is part of the daily job; see our sales, marketing and customer care courses and supply chain, procurement and contracts courses.
Negotiation is a skill, so it improves with practice and feedback. These methods work:
Above all, go in willing to reach a deal. A negotiation in which both sides leave satisfied is usually worth more than one in which you win every point and lose the relationship.
This guide groups them into four elements. Preparation: list your priorities and know what you want and what you will trade. Integration: look for an agreement that creates value for both sides. Strategy knowledge: know your own default style and adapt it to the situation. Logic and emotion: balance clear reasoning with emotional intelligence, so that you stay calm and read the other party.
Preparation and patience both are. Successful negotiations start with thorough preparation, and skilled negotiators are patient enough not to give up their position too early or hold out too long. Emotional dominance is not. This guide recommends emotional intelligence instead: controlling your own emotions, recognising the other party’s and keeping the tone positive, because entering a negotiation aggressively invites the same response.
The main components are your target point, the outcome you are aiming for; your BATNA, the alternative you will turn to if no deal is reached; your reservation or walk-away point; and the zone of possible agreement (ZOPA) between the two sides. Knowing whether the negotiation is distributive, dividing a fixed value, or integrative, creating value for both sides, tells you which tactics to use.
The first need is to resolve differences: negotiation lets two or more people with different positions reach an agreement instead of a stand-off. The second is to create lasting value: a good negotiation leaves both parties satisfied, protects the relationship and reduces the chance of future conflict. At work, both needs come up daily, from agreeing a schedule and budget with a client to asking a manager for more time.
To build these skills with a facilitator, our Key Negotiation Skills course is a two-day workshop for staff who negotiate with clients, suppliers or colleagues. We run it in-house at your premises, at our Sunningdale, Johannesburg venue, or online. Delegates receive a BOTI certificate of attendance. Call 011 882 8853 or email [email protected].
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Copyright text 2026 by Business Optimization Training Institute.